I get this question asked a lot “why don’t you take your meds?” they ask if there is medication for your diagnosis why aren’t you utilizing it? Honestly, I’ve always been someone to take up on a challenge, but this is not the reason I quit taking my meds. Some days my meds helped me and some days it caused me to feel much worse than I already was. I just got tired of taking so many meds a day and being so isolated life just felt numb to me and no reason to live in it. So I got the courage 4 years ago to grab all my meds and toss them for good! Here are 5 reasons why;
- Steroids- I started taking prednisone at 14 and even though it made me feel better it was still covering up the root cause. It caused me to gain so much weight, I hated it. It was a temporary fix, I was tired of the temporary.
- Consistency- I was prescribed a lot of meds that were both for cancer and autoimmune diseases so my hair will grow to fall out. If I caught a cold or the flu I would have to stop the meds until it passed. For some reason all the side effects of the meds that only show in a few people, I was always that few! So doctors’ were always switching my meds trying new things.
- Sleepiness- It’s already tough being a mother, it’s so much harder when you can’t even stay awake. I would be so out of it and by the time I would wake up the sun was down and the day escaped me. So, how did I keep a job? Caffeine! it was my BFF I drunk about 10 cups a day just to get me by, but I would only end up sicker than I was because caffeine is a big trigger when I’m having a flare-up. There was nothing I could do because my body became so immune to the meds so quickly they would have to bump it up to a higher dosage.
- Addiction- I became addicted to Xanax, I found myself popping pills when I wasn’t even having anxiety just because they made me feel a little alive. I could smile on days I really didn’t have it in me. I drank a lot because it made me numb and in that moment took me away from that person I hated most (Sick Shawna).
- Family- I was missing out on family, I avoided family gatherings because I would be so nervous of questions (Wow, Shawna you gained weight or Wow, you have gotten so skinny) yea…yea.. if only you knew my struggles. I couldn’t stand loud noises and I didn’t want them to see me have an anxiety attack because I was afraid to be around a big crowd. I just go tired of explaining myself.
I got tired of living this way, and I couldn’t stand another day of it. So I prayed to God…well more liked screamed, hollered and sobbed. I said enough is enough, I won’t continue to live my life this way and gave myself away to God so he could use me. That’s when I tried my first Daniel fast, started detoxing and doing so much research. God started to overflow my mind with things that needed to be done and they work for me. Some days get tough but I press on because God is greater than my illness. See my illness had me bound on the verge to committing suicide and ending it all but God said otherwise. I feel so free and full of life, this is my why. I have now found my purpose in life. I wasn’t created to be sick my whole life, but to find God and fulfill the purpose he created me for. I was just a person that the medication didn’t work out for. I’m just glad to be medication free and living life with a purpose.
Fear, You have no place here
Fear is a big overtaker in our lives it destroys our dreams and potentials. It disables us from doing great things in this world that were meant to be. Fear has been with us since little toddlers afraid to see momma or daddy go, afraid to be bold..afraid afraid afraid!
Let me tell you this thing today, the enemy wants to keep you in fear. The devil has a way of doing things backwards because he wants you to keep going backwards.
Devil wants you to have fear which holds you bound and God wants you to be raef which is to excel in everything just by being yourself. Fear spelled backwards is raef, see what I’m saying.
Once you identify the fear slowly try to overcome it, this won’t be easy but it is always worth it. Fear has no place living in you so tell it and its supplier to kick rock. You have the victory!
Hear Me O, God
4 Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer.2 O ye sons of men, how long will ye turn my glory into shame? how long will ye love vanity, and seek after leasing? Selah.3 But know that the Lord hath set apart him that is godly for himself: the Lord will hear when I call unto him.4 Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah.5 Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the Lord.6 There be many that say, Who will shew us any good? Lord, lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon us.7 Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their corn and their wine increased.8 I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety. Pslam 4:1-8
When I was younger at church we always had services were the saints would pray and pray for hours. This wasn’t any type of prayer some yelling, some weeping and all some could do was hum. At that age, I didn’t really understand the purpose of that kind of prayer, but now that I am older and have experienced some things I understand. I understand that sometimes there is a need to pour out our hearts to God with a loud cry ” letting God know, I put all my trust in you Father”.
With everything that is occurring in our lives we sometimes have to let God know “I know you got me and please continue to speak Lord”. So many things are coming against us and we never want to let God down, but remember God will take care of his faithful ones. He see’s your pain, he knows your desires and he hears your cries that you cry when you are all alone.
So keep fighting, praying, fasting and spreading God’s love. Trust God and know that he is the same God as he was back in the day of Moses, Daniel, Saul and all the others that he blessed. Hold on to your faith and keep all your trust in God.
I want to start this off by saying this; you never know what is going on in the life of someone from young to old that may cause them to take their life. Please never judge a book by its cover. My heart goes out to any and everyone who has lost someone due to suicide. Let’s take the time to listen and really hear them and understand them because not one single person is perfect. #showlove
Living with a chronic illness is rough it takes a toll on your body, mind, and spirit. All you want to do is get better and live a normal life. It’s hard when people look at you and decide for themselves that your not sick because they can not see it. And once you hit a flare up and lose so much weight they diagnose you as being an addict or if you gain to much weight from steroids. We keep smiles on our faces to mask our pain but in the inside we hurt.
I remember driving along the highway a few times and thinking to myself, I should just drive onto the other side of the highway to just end it all. I was so tired of being in pain and having so many problems, I felt there was no reason to live if I couldn’t enjoy life. When you are in pain you don’t think about the people around you, sometimes you can’t your mind is tired and weary. Depression, anxiety, and pain weighs you down and kills your hope in life.Some days you cry and some days you don’t have any tears to cry. Chronic pain is and will never be easy to deal with, and we will all have our days, hang in there.
Suicidal thoughts come and go during a time when you are deeply unhappy with the situation you are in. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone, do something that makes you smile, most importantly try not to be alone. Even though during this time it may seem like you are all by yourself; remember you are not. God is always with you, to the ends of the earth.
I feel like it’s been such a long time since I have written. So much has happened in the last couple of weeks, I am just now starting to pull myself together. My hospital visit felt like forever, but I’m slowly recovering and I thank God for his many blessings that he has given me.
It is crazy how more important life becomes to you when your life could have ended. You start to cherish things that you were beginning to take advantage of. You enjoy the winds cool breeze, just the little things. I feel like I was losing sight of the simple things in life because I was becoming too busy with the unnecessary things in life. I began to notice I was saying to myself a lot ” It’s time for a vacation alone”. Be careful what you ask for, because I didn’t mean being sick in the hospital alone.
Now I know when my body starts speaking to my mind that I need a vacation alone, it’s time to regroup and become one with myself again. In Luke 5:16 says ” But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. So now I know my body was trying to force myself to get to a lonely place to pray, not that I needed a vacation alone by myself away from people. Just alone to pray to get my strength and help that my body way longing for from God.
Even though it was on sad terms that I ended up in the hospital, I know that my life is always in my Fathers hands. This is not the two weeks vacation I was seeking for but it is turning out into a “Thinkcation” I’m thinking a lot, praying a lot, writing a lot, but most importantly enjoying my family. I know we all have to pay bills and do adult things, but never lose sight on what matters the most in life ” the people who you can’t live without, but most importantly your relationship with God. It makes a big difference.
Always remember to love one another 🙂
You open your eyes after falling asleep maybe 3 hours ago, it’s time for the kids to go to school. You slowly move to get out of bed because your body aches, don’t let the weather be shifting outside or you may wake up stiff too. Your feet hit the floor and you say “Oh God, please help me”.
Most chronic pain sufferers start their day this way, it’s hard to have pain day after day. Having to be a regular on the doctors’ visit list. Having to take pain meds that mostly make you sleep and you miss out on daily living. Having tears drop and you hurry up and wipe them away because you don’t want your family to see the hurt inside.
This morning I, open my eyes and asked God for something encouraging to say to you all today. Something that you can hold on too, He whispered to me”Rest in Me, My Love”. When He said, my love, my heart sank, not just rest in me but, you are His love, the apple of His eye.
God loves us so much, never forget His love is never-failing. May He wrap you in His loving arms.
Blessings and Happy Wednesday 💜
I want to share a piece of something that started my healthy living journey with my Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia. I was at my lowest looking for a way out, the pain was eating away at my body. I came in contact with the Daniel fast.
The Daniel Fast is a 21 day fast that consists of only fruit and vegetables. There are more ideas that I will discuss later on. I have tried to do this fast with only the food portion of it but it doesn’t fulfill the purpose of the fast. The fast must be done as a duo with the eating and study of the Bible.
During this fast I had more energy, I was able to focus, lose weight, ease my pain and most importantly closer to God.
I want to take you on a journey with me, I am starting the Daniel Fast again December 1st, 2016. Matter of fact I have a countdown going on my page. If you would like to join in you can but it is not required.
Starting December 1st, I will be posting daily recipes and journaling day-to-day while posting meaningful scriptures. Pray, this inspires you to get a fresh start.
I was sitting on my bed, and decided to start a devotional journey. I am a young woman speaking from my heart, I will be writing whatever flows out. I will be doing a devotional through psalms,proverbs and job to start my journey and finish 2016 and the ending of 2017.
Is the Grass Greener or Artificial?
1. Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. 2. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in his law doth, he meditates day and night.
Are your eyes focused on the people who have more money, bigger house, driving a fancy car, better marriage or maybe even better health than you? In Psalms 1:1 it says “Blessed is the man”… The man who walks in God’s word not gazing or making a wish list for something you’ve seen someone else have. But the man that is happy and content with where he is in his/her life and what God has currently blessed them with. Sometimes it can be difficult not to glance over at their grass wishing for better, but it would be hurtful to get there and realize everything was artificial.
Artificial because they didn’t use the necessary tools to grow their grass the right way. Instead, they took a different path; went to the store and bought their own grass to make it seem as if they took the time and effort to grow it. I say this because many of us are looking over at artificial grass it looks nice and green but it’s really dead underneath. No, fertilizer was ever planted just dirt covered up by material happiness.
Our happiness comes from God during any situation we can dig into God’s word water ourselves and grow. Real happiness is deep down within, it can’t be covered with material things. We must take time and effort and patiently wait for our own grass to grow by meditating day and night on God’s word.
What makes you happy?
So this morning I was not feeling my best, but I still knew I needed to get my juice fix. I slowly walked into the kitchen dreading to chop up everything I wanted to blend.
So I decided since I, already had the green goodness and carrot juice why not just blend it together with some added spinach. What a great way to blend in less than a minute.
It taste the same but with a little extra jazz that the green goodness had. Great for on the go add spinach for extra dose of iron. 🙂
Lazy Girl Green Juice
1 cup of Green Goodness
1 cup of Carrot Juice
2 handfuls of spinach ( less spinach if you don’t like pulp)
Makes enough for 2-3 cups
Chronic Illness can weigh you down and may be the biggest race you have to run in this life because it is long-lasting. Day after day we suffer from pain that disables us on the outside, but most importantly on the inside. Pain causing you to think differently, react differently and hope differently.
Think back to when you were feeling at your greatest in your body and the way it made you feel. We all want that back, but I wonder if it was meant to be. Not to be in pain forever no one wants that, but to be in a long enough season to reach certain people. People who are hurting just like us, who feel like all hope is lost.
“Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
We are here to sympathize with others going through similar situations and be of help to them. Even when we are weak ourselves there is still a work to be done. When others become weak and fatigue during this race, we will step in and give them hope and inspire them. Let them know you are not alone, but we are in this together.
Prayer for today:
Dear God, today I stand in the gap for those who are not able to even pray for themselves, the one’s who feel all hope is lost, the one’s who feel like you have turned your back on them. I pray that you give them strength to hold on to life and to press through this trying season. ” By His stripes, we are healed” and God I believe on your word. Being sick is never an easy burden to carry, you said you wouldn’t put more on us than we could bare. God heal the fatigue, confusion, muscle aches, hurting bones, headaches, stomach problems all of the infirmities that are not of you. I put all of those illnesses on the cross today and leave them in your hands, In Jesus name.
Be helper one to another 🙂